This past weekend I had the oppurtunity in serving at Azuza Now in LA. A gathering of people of all race, backgrounds, and denominations who got together for one thing…LOVE. When I say love I’m not speaking about merely a cute feel good, pretty word, resembling flowers and heart emojis. I’m speaking about so much more than what the natural mind can comprehend. An actual Being, Entity, Energy, that far surpasses our understanding.

Since I was radically changed, made perfectly new 6 years ago I have accepted a few things in my new life. When Christ died, I was not merely watching as an onlooker, but an active participant in this event. I was Co-Cruicified with Christ, one nail two hands. (Romans 6:4-7) I was then Co-buried with Him, one tomb two bodies. Then on the third day I was Co-ressurected with Christ, death to life. Living a New life of complete wholeness, oneness, abundance, and bliss with the One who did it all. If that wasn’t enough I was then Co-seated with Christ at the right hand of the Father. (Ephesians 2:6) And Co-heired as a daughter of the King, and the Earth as my inheritance. With this amazing, wild, scandalous revelation of no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me (Galatians 2:20) I lack nothing that the Cross did not purchase for me already.

For a long time I struggled with the idea of fasting, intercession, trying to rend the Heavens single handedly and personally did not find this to fit my life and my new found life in Christ. So attending The Call was definitely never at the forefront of list of things I wanted to do. Nor was it something I wished to debate about, I stayed away and let those who believed in these things live their lives and their salvation out in their own way.

While serving at this event, towards the end of the night I had an amazing break through that didn’t come from fasting or crying out. It came through simply sitting and listening to someone’s heart and desires for love to inhabit anyone and everyone. The one I was listening to was Lou Engle. He was speaking and sharing his heart, and I saw his pure desire to see the world encounter this Jesus that he knew. His desire that they would receive the same acceptance, fullness, and complete joy that he had. I began to think of the many things he had taught and for how long he had been teaching it. I thought of the steps of his experience and how he encountered our God and the dream that God had put in his heart. I began to weep, uncontrollably really, as I felt the Fathers love for Lou overtake me. I saw a little boy, in a huge auditorium, with love in his eyes, and fire on his tongue telling a story of how he had encountered the heart of God. I saw this perfect, precious, son of God share his experience of the loving Father and how He revealed Himself through Lou’s life. Previously, I had always disagreed with “Lou”, thinking that he was a tired and exhausted man. But at Azusa Now I discovered the opposite:  He was Full of life and passion. All that he did was out of pure joy. He worked out of a place of pure enjoyment and I can’t disagree with that. I cried watching him speak and really was overwhelmed at his life and who he was and has been. I love Lou Engle and believe in who he is and what he has done.

Many people in the “Grace” have openly spoke out against this event. But we all know that finding fault is way easier than finding common ground and this was no different. I began to get frustrated, though I believe in what they were saying I just didn’t agree with how they were translating it on a public forum. And couldn’t help but question the method of staying away from a culture you don’t necessarily agree with and expecting a change.

Before everyone throws their stones I must say I was once this way. Stayed away from it all to avoid the persecution, debate, and attack of not being the “striver” everyone knew and loved. I was more comfortable judging from afar and preaching my message of Love and Grace yet not having one ounce of it towards those who just worshiped different then I did,  and for that I ask for forgiveness. I realized that in order to bring the Love and Grace that I had so boldly preached on, I needed to put myself around people who may not have the joy that Lou had. I needed to put myself around people that were actually tired and believed that God was far away. People who were crying out for a visitation and didn’t know that they were actually possessed by the very Spirit they were crying out for. I now see that regardless of how someone expresses my Jesus if its coming from a pure and joyful heart I can’t be against what God has already anointed. And that God is faithful and redeems the time I see as wasted.

I refuse to participate in the attitude that comes about in the name of “A Better Message.” Instead I stand here ready to love and bring rest to those who have no joy or hope in the Christ in them. Instead of judging from afar, I will bring the good news to them. Do I agree with anything that isn’t the Gospel? No. But I will love them where they are and trust that God is faithful in doing the impossible. And I will choose the violent act of Love at all costs, counting nothing as loss.

For I resolved to know nothing(to be acquainted with nothing, to make a display of the knowledge of nothing and to conscious of nothing) among you except Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and Him Crucified.

1 Corinthians 2:2